A lot of people in our society feel that they NEED to be in a relationship, heck, you might even be one of those people!
The thing is, no one really needs to be in a relationship- despite what your overbearing friends and siblings may have to say about you. In fact, many people could actually benefit from not being in a relationship at all until they get their own internal world sorted out.
External pressure to be in a relationship or get married is high- especially as you get older.
If you have the pleasure of hitting age 30 or even age 40 and you still haven’t found anyone to settle down with it is not the end of the world, but a lot of people will sue make you feel this way. Let’s face the facts, mom and dad want grand-kids and after all, everyone else your age is married or settled down…
No matter what your current age is, being single is ok, and if you can take this time to work on yourself and build up your own life, then you will be more prepared when you do meet “the one”.
Why do people think it is so vital to fall in love and get married?
So many of us suffer from low confidence or low self esteem. Men and women alike have come to judge themselves against nearly impossible comparisons- we compare ourselves to the rich and famous, the Instagram kings and queens, and the people we see on television.
So many people in the world feel inadequate, couple with that with the fact that the divorce rate is sky high and people’s childhoods are often much less filled with love than they used to be and you get a recipe for disaster.
The world is full of people who are looking for love, attention, accomplishments, and fame to fulfill the voids that exist within them. I think all of us are guilty or have been guilty of seeking validation for our lives in external places like the opinions and admiration of others.
Fairy tales and movies by Nicholas Sparks tell the story that two broken individuals will come together and become one. We have all been brainwashed to believe that we can only be complete once we fall in love with someone else who loves us just as much as we love them.
When you are waiting for someone to complete your world then your world might never be complete.
So many people move from relationship to relationship desperately seeking the love, affection, and feel good emotions that they need. They meet someone and initially the sparks fly, but over time as the romance fades they reach out for more and more affection and validation, and eventually the partners pull away from each other as one can never seem to meet the expectations of the other.
When you are looking for a relationship because you need the benefits that the relationship provides you, then you are going about the process all wrong. ALL WRONG. Not only is it not fair to place such a high burden on someone you just met, but you are just setting yourself up to be disappointed over and over again.
If your end goal is to find someone to love you so that you can finally be complete…then what the heck is that? That certainly doesn’t sound like any type of fairytale of love I have ever heard of.
True love doesn’t ask what someone can do for you, it asks what you can do for them!
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Seek first to complete yourself and then you can find true love.
True love requires constant giving, attention, affection, and dedication. True love requires sacrifice, patience, understanding, communication, compromise, and commitment…How can someone who is only focused on their own needs going to be able to give so much to someone else?
The misconception is this: people think that they will find true love and will just instantly become whole for the rest of time…but this is how it actually works: you find someone you truly love and that love CHALLENGES you to become an even better version of yourself every single day.
If you think you are going to meet someone who is just going to love you exactly as you are and that there will never be any disagreements or compromises then you are plain crazy!
True love requires endless sacrifice, even it means sacrificing who you are so that you can be someone even better.
True love requires a commitment to fall in love again every single day, and it requires that you give the best of you to the person that you love.
If you want to find true love then you need to first start looking within.
Start looking within yourself and start asking yourself how you can become a better person. Accept yourself as you are, start building up your confidence levels, find your passion, and try to become a whole and complete individual on your own.
Get used to making sacrifices and start building up your own life and working on yourself. When you can look into a mirror and be totally happy with the person that you see THEN you are ready to fall in love.
When you love your life and have a special vibrancy and energy, then others will fall for you; when you start working on yourself so that you can become the type of person that is worthy of your own love then you are ready to love others. When you can learn to love yourself, then and only then, will others be able to love you as fully as you desire and deserve.
Despite what you may believe two halves don’t make a whole…it takes two fully integrated and self actualized individuals to create true love.
Love requires two people who are comfortable and confident enough in their own life to come together, but then ongoing love requires continuous personal growth, sacrifice, commitment, and affection. When you no longer wish to grow, when you wish only to seek comfort and have things forever be the same, then surely things will fail.
If you feel that you need a relationship then there is a good chance you don’t, and if you feel happy and strong on your own then there is a good chance that you are ready to find someone special.
You are not what you think you are, you are whatever you choose to be. #positivevibes #bethechange #faith #believe #makeyourbestself #motivation #inspiration #quotes #quote #quoteoftheday #success #love #insta #happy #nice #instagood #healthyliving #happyday #good
A photo posted by @makeyourbestself on
So if you want love:
- Start bettering yourself a little bit each day
- Learn to love yourself
- Learn to be happy, content, and self dependant
- Find your passion in life and pursue it
- Decide the type of person that you want to become and work towards becoming that person
- Realize that it is not up to anyone else to make you feel loved, complete, and adequate: it’s all up to you
You don’t need a relationship, learn to love yourself and then you will find the person that will love you like you never could imagine. I promise when you learn to love yourself and you find someone who loves you exactly as you always wanted to be loved: their love will be a powerful force that will drive you to do things you never would have thought were possible.
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