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Why not everyone NEEDS a relationship to be happy

A lot of people in our society feel that they NEED to be in a relationship, heck, you might even be one of those people! The thing is, no one really needs to be in a relationship- despite what your overbearing friends and siblings may have to say about you. In fact, many people could actually benefit from not being in a relationship at all until they get their own internal world sorted out.   External pressure to be in a relationship or get married is high- especially as you get older. If you have the pleasure of hitting age 30 or even age 40 and you still haven’t found anyone to settle down with it is not the end of the world, but a lot of people will sue make you feel this way. Let’s face the facts, mom and dad want grand-kids and after all, everyone else your age is married or settled down… No matter what your current age is, being single is ok, and if you can take this time to work on yourself and build up your own life, then you will be more prepared when you do meet “the one”.   Why do people think it is so vital to fall in love and get married? So many of us suffer from low confidence or low self esteem. Men and women alike have come to judge themselves against nearly impossible comparisons- we compare ourselves to the rich and famous, the Instagram kings and queens, and the people we see on television. So many people in the world feel inadequate, couple with that with... read more

Raise your partner’s priority to take your relationship to the next level

If you want to find one sure-fire way to help out your relationship and let your lover know that they are, in fact, loved then you might want to consider making them a priority. Making someone a priority takes vulnerability, it takes a commitment, and it says a lot about where your affections and loyalties lie; if you want to tell someone you really love them or if you want to move a relationship to the next level, nothings says “I love you” like making someone priority #1.   What does it mean to make someone priority #1? Does making someone a major priority in your life require that you drop everything, including your own desires, in order to please them? No. Does making someone a priority mean that every single second of your existence needs to be devoted to their pleasure and making them happy? Again, No. All that making someone a priority means, is that you put them in your thoughts as number one (or at least high up on the list). Meaning…when a new thought enters your mind, they pop up in that thought shortly after, and that helps you decide what to do next.   Keep #love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.-Oscar Wilde #quotes #happiness #Inspiration — (@MakeYourBstSelf) November 11, 2015   Making someone a priority means that for each new thing that happens, you ask yourself how does “_____” fit into this. Think about it this way…if Jenny is seeing Mark, and Mark wants to make Jenny feel more loved and... read more

How laughter can heal your heart and help new love bloom

When was the last time you laughed? Really laughed… For many of us, we may not even remember the last time we had a good laugh with the person that we love; laughter is truly the medicine of the soul and when we neglect making time and lightness to laugh, we miss out on a nourishing part of a great relationship. Many of us tend to be so serious, we take everything as life or death, we stand our ground, and we deal problems with cold calculation, but this lack of lightness of heart can constrict us and limit our ability to love others. Sharing laughs with the person you love makes you feel young and in love, it helps you create good memories, and it decreases stress. Couples who laugh more have more fun, love more deeply,are less stressed, and they argue and nitpick less with each other. If your relationship has been lackluster, if it has grown stale, or if the person you are with makes you feel angry or upset more than they make you smile, then laughter might be exactly what you need more of! Keep #love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.-Oscar Wilde #quotes #happiness #Inspiration — (@MakeYourBstSelf) November 11, 2015 While the jury is still out on what physical effects laughter has on the human body, there is no debate that people who laugh more usually live happier and healthier lives. It is just about impossible to be angry and laugh at the same time, and the more we laugh around... read more

Why trying to save your lover can end up being relationship suicide

Have you ever heard the advice to never try to save a drowning person by trying to hold them up yourself? If you have ever tried to hold up someone that is drowning then you will know why people say it. When someone has trouble treading water they will grab onto anything nearby to try and stay afloat-even if that thing happens to be you. A lot of people drown each year from trying to help someone else that is drowning and then they end up getting grabbed onto and pulled under as well. It’s a scary experience, but it’s the best way I know to illustrate the point that sometimes trying to do things for someone else can get you pulled into trouble too.   Problem 1 with trying to help your partner- The resistance principle Usually if you tell someone they need help the very first thing they will do-automatically- is launch into a rebuttal explaining why they are perfectly fine the way that they are. I like to call this the resistance principle. Any time you offer help to someone or tell them that they need help, they will almost always deny your help or needing help. People with any level of self respect and esteem naturally want to believe that they are capable of operating efficiently on their own, and this quality often causes them to refuse help- even if they really do need it. Unless your partner is asking for your help or unless they really desire it, chances are trying to help is only going to push your partner away from you. Most people... read more

7 things to remember when your relationship is on the rocks

All relationships end up on the rocks from time to time, it is perfectly- dare I say normal, to want to jump overboard at times and let the ship sank on its own, but the truth is when you love someone you must be willing to fight your impulse to throw in the towel and fight through the storm. Every relationship will experience tough times, trials, and tests, so I wanted to write a post detailing some tips to remember when your relationship isn’t going so well. So here are 7 things to remember when times get tough.   You have the power to change things An important thing to remember when relationship times get tough is that you have the power to change things. While you cannot tell your partner what THEY need to do to make things better, you can listen to their concerns and try to do your best to bring about the change you want to take place in your relationship. If you aren’t happy with how things are going don’t wait for your partner to change, but instead focus on what you can do to make things better. Gandhi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” and his quote is just as true in love as it is in the everyday world. If you are unhappy with the way things are going in your relationship, and if things have gotten difficult then start acting the way you want to act, start treating your lover the way that you want them to treat you, and start loving them as you want... read more

Learning to see the world through your partner’s eyes: a lesson in love

Frames make up our way of viewing the world, and while dealing with people with different frames from ourselves can be frustrating, dating or marrying someone with different frames from our own can be downright infuriating. When you look at a home and interpret it as a clean and comfortable place to live and your partner views it as a pig-sty it can be a problem. When one partner offer the other space as a form of love and respect and the other perceives the space as indifference, that can too can be a problem. Many of the biggest issues in a relationship don’t come from real problems at all, they come from how each partner frames or views something in a different way. Many times couples must be willing to learn and examine their partners frames in order to better understand the way they view their world. The world is a reflection of what you believe, so two partners can live in the same world and yet experience vastly different realities. True understanding of others, whether it be a stranger or the person you love, comes not from interpreting their actions through your ideas of the world, but by viewing the world through their eyes.   Good communication comes from a feeling of comfort and security, it comes from confidence and trust in another person, and most of all it comes from the trust that no matter what you may say, that this person will understand you… Think about who you feel most comfortable around… Think of a person that you feel you can tell anything to, and... read more

Unplug for love: how technology is hurting your realtionships

Have you ever been ignored by someone who was too busy checking Reddit or texting to listen to the climax of your story? Ever been totally transfixed and lost in a moment in time with someone only to look over and see them leaving a comment on Facebook? Have you ever gone out of your way to do something nice for someone only to have a phone call interrupt what you had planned? I think we have all been there, and if we haven’t experienced this personally, there is a pretty good chance that we have at least done this to someone we know. Nowhere are the effects of this type of behavior more evident than in people’s relationships.   In the beginning of most relationships we hang on every word our lover speaks. We sometimes place them on a pedestal and make them the center of our universe (while this isn’t always healthy), this is a huge source of emotional stimulation for us in the beginning; but over time we tend to take our lovers for granted. Sure, there are times you may need to check your phone, take an important phone call, or respond to a text message, but perhaps it isn’t how frequently we use technology that really affects our relationships, but rather it is when we choose to engage in these types of activities. I am not proposing in this article that you throw away all of your technology and run away with your lover into the woods for a life hermitude, I am merely suggesting that you select times that technology should be excluded... read more

6 reasons why getting back in shape can spice up your love life

Getting in shape and getting that body of your dreams can do wonders for your relationship, even if it means taking time to be alone or get away from the kids to get to the gym. Exercise is one of those sort of selfish things that we do for ourselves that ends up making us better and happier people, and better happier people usually end up making other people better and happier too. It may sound weird that taking 5 hours a week to spend away from your partner could make you both happier, but it really is true; getting yourself into a good level of fitness can offer several benefits to you and your relationship: you will look better, you will have more energy, you’ll be more confident, you will have more magnetism, you will have a better (ahem) performance, and people who are fit are just generally happier people; all of these benefits can make for a better relationship read on to find out how.   You will look better Getting fit means you are going to have a better body, and everyone likes a better body right? We live in a world of 6 pack abs, shining smiles, and figures with perfect proportions, and while your partner probably loves you like you are, they are going to have no problems touching those new abs of yours. People like being with people who look good, there is nothing like truly feeling that the person you are with is the most attractive person in the world.     You will have more energy People who exercise and maintain... read more

How to escape the friend zone forever and never go back!

Have you ever really liked someone, found yourself falling for them, and yet you ended up in a dreaded place called the friend zone? The friendzone is like a terrible purgatory where you are just close enough to what you want, but you can’t ever fully attain it. Men end up here all the time, but I must preface this article by saying that truly being friends with a female because you value your friendship is one thing, and being locked into a friend zone with a woman that you are really into because you would rather settle on just being friends because you are too scared to lose her is very different.   Why is the friendzone a bad place to be?   It kills your confidence Being stuck in friend zone will drain a guy’s confidence; because he believes that since the woman that he is interested in is not interested in him romantically that no one else will be he will be less inclined to move on. After all if you thought you could get someone else, wouldn’t you be out there trying to find some rather than just sitting there stuck on a girl who isn’t even into you?   It puts a woman on the pedestal above you When you allow yourself to become friend zoned, you sacrifice what you want in order to appease a woman that you want to be with. You compromise your own desires because you would rather “have her as a friend” than to try and pursue something else or move on. Trust me, no woman is so special... read more

What are the risks and benefits of going on double dates?

A lot of couples like going on double dates, and there can certainly be some great benefits to them, but can doing too many double dates create problems as well, and what kinds of things can arise due to too many double dates? Double dates aren’t good or bad, but they offer both benefits and drawbacks that you need to consider before you commit to a couples game nights 2 nights per week. Think it over, consider your relationship goals, and decide if double dates are a good idea for you.   The benefits of double dates   Double dates add more people into the mix A double date can add other viewpoints and varieties into the date, when couples get together men can bound, women can bound, couples can bond, and people can be themselves and add new excitement into the date experience.   Double dates open up new date possibilities When doubles date, new date possibilities like game nights, competitions, or team activities can become options. New excitement can come from new activities and new excitement can add to feelings of satisfaction in your relationship.   Double dates encourage you to be on your best behavior. When you have been with someone for a long period of time, it can become common for you to spend a lot of time bickering or having small disagreements- even on a date night, but introducing other couples into the date can quell feelings of malice and encourage both couples to be on their best behavior- that means you usually end up avoiding many small arguments and disagreements.   Drawbacks of... read more



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