Many men and women are alone and want someone to share their life with. Both men and women seek things like: love, affection, companionship, and sex. Many of us are guilty of entering into relationships as broken people and expecting another person to fix us and make us whole. The common conception of a marriage is even two incomplete people coming together as one whole, but what does this do to our individuality? Are we only valuable as a part of a couple?
The number one tip for single men AND women is…
Make yourself whole BEFORE you enter a relationship with someone else.
We naturally evolve and grow throughout our lives, especially if we have taken an interest in self improvement; learning to love others as they grow and evolve as well is an important part of successful relationships, but we must be complete before we can be a good partner.
We all need human connection, we all seek love, and we all dream of love (even if we are too scared to admit it), but the difference lies in our perception of what love is. We should not view love as what completes us, but instead as what drives us to become our very best selves. We must recognize ourselves as special beings with immense power and potential, we must seek to improve ourselves, we must find happiness and purpose in life; only once we have become whole can we have a successful and mutually beneficial relationship.
If we imagine ourselves as incomplete: if we imagine that only another person can complete our lives what happens then? We wander around broken waiting for someone to come along and make us happy. We enter into relationships with the expectation that this person will provide us with everything we need: love, safety, entertainment, and happiness, but is is fair to expect so much of someone, and could they provide this for us-even if they were the perfect lover?
Happiness and completion comes from within. As within so without; if we learn to find happiness in ourselves, in our own pursuits, dreams, and passions then the world around us will also reflect happiness and completion; however, if we seek to find happiness outside of ourselves, then we will find lack of happiness within ourselves as well.
Seek first to be happy, seek first to be strong enough to stand alone; seek first to find your passion in life, only then are you capable of finding true love and happiness. I believe true love is a vital part of a full and happy life, but love should function as an amplifier, not the entire message. If you put all of your expectations for happiness and completion on another person, not only will you put immense pressure on them and your relationship, but you will push away the love that you are really after.
Love should help you, love should propel you to new heights of achievement, and love should help you become the very best person you can be; first learn to love yourself and find happiness within, then you will be ready to experience the love of a lifetime.
Love is giving, not taking, and by expecting someone to make you whole, you take- you are looking for someone for what they can give you. Seek instead to find the love that makes you want to GIVE your very best self, love that makes you want to give every gift you can.