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You will NEVER be happy unless you learn this one thing

“What are you waiting for? You’re faster than this. Don’t think you are, know you are. Come on, stop trying to hit me and hit me.”- Morpheus   Skip to 3:44 for the good part   I was having a discussion with someone the other day about a principle that after years of positive thinking, self improvement, and personal challenge that I have finally learned for myself: Unless you can learn to be happy right now: happy with who and what you are, happy with everything you have, and happy with everything in your life then you will NEVER be happy. I’ve been reading books for years that tell you to be happy now, live in the moment, and learn to appreciate what you have but even though I was reading the words…it never really stuck as a lesson that I could apply in my own life.   Be one of the few that actually live. A photo posted by @makeyourbestself on Jan 8, 2016 at 3:08pm PST I lean towards being a perfectionist: I want EVERYTHING to be perfect first, and then everything will be ok…maybe you can relate? Whether I am preparing to tackle a new project, starting a new venture, or just trying to get ready for my next BJJ tournament I have always wanted to be over prepared. When I was competing frequently I was confident in my ability, but if I felt like one single thing wasn’t perfect then I wasn’t ready: it was a little chip in my confidence that killed my ability to win consistently and perform up to my full potential.... read more

Stop wanting things and start having them instead

Can you list at least 10 things that you want? I bet you can name off a list of things pretty quickly without much extra consideration, but consider this: what if all that “wanting” things is actually stopping you from having them? What if you thinking about the things that you wish that you had is actually preventing you from ever getting them?   Wanting… Wanting something isn’t too far off from just wishing that you could have it. Who doesn’t want to travel the world, own a mansion, drive around in a Bentley, and tell the credit card companies to bug off? What about the desire to get fit or lose a few pounds? Have you ever wanted to lose little bit of belly fat, tone up, or get jacked? No someone that has been wanting to lose a few pounds for more than just a few years? One thing is for sure: wanting something doesn’t do anything to actually make it happen for you. Saying “I want” is too uncertain, it’s too wishful, and it gives you just enough permission to think “Gee, wouldn’t that be nice?”   How our language affects our success.   What you want doesn’t really matter until you start to take the responsibility to actually start creating it in your own life. That big-screen TV isn’t going to buy itself, that 6 pack stomach isn’t going to appear over-night. Anything that you could possibly “want” in life needs to be created, not just wanted for. Believe in yourself and anything is possible! #motivation #growthhacking #success — (@MakeYourBstSelf) December 12,... read more

Would you choose door 1 or door 2?

So imagine you find this flier posted up on a telephone pole and it tells you about this opportunity to make a million dollars. Its got some contact information listed on it, so you contact the person running the advertisement and you set up a date to meet with them. Of course, when you first walk in you are already skeptical, because, come on, when an opportunity is too good to be true it usually is right? Yet, here you are in this person’s office. You can tell right away that they are for real; the wall is covered with awards, you see this person’s picture on the wall with your favorite celebrities, you smell fine coffee brewing on a table behind them, and you can hear all the assistants out in the hall working on their next project. Imagine sitting there and looking at everything this person has built: this company, an excited energy, a wall full of rewards and for just a second…you believe that maybe you can do it too. So this person is sitting in front of you at a beautiful desk, and they say to you, “Look, everything I have done here you can do too. Every accomplishment, every dollar I have made, every picture on the wall could be you instead of me, but you have to do something…one thing first.” At this point they could tell you to sell your soul to the devil and you might even say yes…so you think about it a moment and answer, “Just show me what to do.”   So you both get up, and they... read more

Success is not a place on a map, it is the journey

Sometimes people fail to realize that success isn’t some destination, it’s actually the product of a long process. It’s the old Iceberg adage in work in real life- you know- that success is just the tip of the iceberg…what people don’t see is the hours of toil, hard work, challenge, and even deep depression that it takes to experience the very top of life’s experiences.     Everyone who has ever been successful at anything has surely had those moments of pain, those troubling moments of doubt, and even those overwhelming moments of hopelessness and despair. When those feelings come into play; however, it should serve as a reminder to focus on the process rather than the result of the process. Success is not what lies at the top of the iceberg…its what lies beneath buried in the struggle of creation that truly creates the happiness that you are after.   Sometimes it is your destiny to fail, and how you react will define you. #mondaymotivation #growthhacking #success — (@MakeYourBstSelf) December 28, 2015   Failure SHOULD abound in your life’s work Failure is not usually a sign that you are on the wrong course in life, in fact, failure should be one of the main signs that you are headed in the right direction. The road to success- and ultimately success is living a life that is in alignment with your passion and sense of purpose, is a long and difficult one. Few men or women are lucky enough to stumble right into a life that they love; few people are able to suddenly wake up one day... read more

When are you planning to actually start?

So I know there are some things that you want to change, get better at, improve, start doing, or stop doing. Do you know how I know that? Because we all have these things. No matter how successful you are and no matter where you are in life we all have this inner knowledge that things could be better. Every single human being on this planet has a mental list of “shoulds”: things that we know we “should do”, “would do”,  “could have done if”. We tend to ignore this running list of things until the next time we realize that we should do something, then after a few days they drift back to somewhere hidden in our mind. While it is great to just accept things the way that they are, to be happy and appreciate what you have, why in this life of endless possibility would you ever choose to have less or be less than you are capable of? Why would you accept being 10 lbs overweight when you could have the body of your dreams? Why would you take a job you don’t like just because the pay is good? Why would you settle for a mediocre relationship and love life when you and your partner could create a real life love story? I know that I will never achieve perfection, but why would I settle for less than I am capable of? Why would I allow this list of “shoulds” someday become a list of “I wish I would haves”?   Don’t wait for it to happen…make it happen! #motivation #GrowthHacking #success #StrongerThanFear read more

22 quotes about being present to keep you living in the now

When is the last time that you stopped what you were doing and listened to the way the wind blows through the trees, watched a sunset, or said thank you to someone for a small act of kindness that they did for you? I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I get TOO focused on what I am working on and I lose track of some of the smallest and most beautiful moments in life. I take small steps to try and come back into the moment though. Many of us spend our time living in the past…you know…dwelling on our past mistakes or the things we have failed in. We hold onto the things that people do that hurt us or the things that go wrong. I tend to avoid the past, I let things roll easily into the past and I let them stay there, but my problem is living too much in the future. I have all these big dreams and ideas, and I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better, that someday I will be living the life that I want to live, and that maybe someday I will finally be truly happy, but the truth is that happiness and joy can only be experienced in the now. Even the moments that I keep looking forward to are going to leave me wanting more, and even though I know this I feel trapped in searching for that moment of perfection somewhere ahead of me on my path in life. The joy you seek is now, the love you wish to feel is now,... read more

Raise your personal standards and decide its do or die

Have you ever sat down and asked yourself what really matters to you? Have you ever thought about what type of person you want to be and how you would like to conduct yourself? Most of us realize that there is a difference between where we would like to be and where we are, most of know that there are little inconsistencies in our days… they exist between how we act and how we want to act, and most of us look on our days with the knowledge that we could have done better…. yet we never change our standards and expect more of ourselves tomorrow. In fact, today’s failures often just make it all the easier to not try tomorrow. Who doesn’t wish that they were: more kind, happier, more disciplined, more thoughtful,  more productive, or more healthy? The real task at hand is to stop feeling guilty, stop feeling helpless, and to start take control and change our standards of living. So stop playing the victim, raise your standards, and be the hero of your own life.   You are just a story you tell yourself. Choose to be the hero in it, don’t be the victim. #HumpDay #success #onstorm — (@MakeYourBstSelf) June 11, 2015   Put the gun to your own head… Imagine that you want to be healthier, lose some weight, get abs, eat better or whatever… you KNOW that this is what you want, yet without changing your standards you will never become this person. The first step to becoming that healthy person that you desire to be is to raise your... read more

How to use your fear to find your passion

There is a good chance that everything that you have ever wanted is on the other side of what you are afraid of. Think about it… Do you ever wish you could do something else for a career? Do you ever think that maybe there is something greater out there for you? Or do you have some secret desire for something that you never get around to doing? We all have a little voice that lives inside of us- some little calling for more ringing out within our soul, but we usually let “being realistic” or “being conservative” dictate the way that we live our lives. If you are taking the easy way instead of the exciting way, if you aren’t living up to your full potential, if you are overweight or out of shape, or if your life is not exactly what you want or heading towards it, then there is a good chance that fear is at least partially dictating the way that you are living your life. If you want to find your true potential and live a life truly alive with passion and purpose, then you must learn to walk towards the things that you are afraid of;  it is often the scariest times in our lives that lead us closer to our living a life filled with passion.   Case study into fear: Steve Jobs Anyone who has ever watched Jobs (the movie) or read anything about Steve Jobs knows that things weren’t always easy and comfortable for Steve. The perfect example of the hard times that Jobs went through to start Apple comes... read more

What gives life meaning?

It is easy to assume that something as complex as a human life must have a purpose. Since our times as children we have found ourselves questioning “why” things happen the way they do so It isn’t hard to imagine that perhaps the first thought ever conceived by man was “why am I here?”. Purpose or meaning actually don’t matter at all until the I is introduced into the equation: it is kind of like the tree that falls in the forest while no one is around to hear it…The whole idea of life needing a purpose is a creation of the mind, without the mind life doesn’t need a purpose. Meaning is a concept of the mind, and so before there was consciousness there was no meaning. So what gives life meaning (aside from consciousness)?     Belief in a higher power (religion) If a carrot is harvested so that you can eat it, then the carrot’s purpose was to sustain you; and if an animal is killed so that you can live, then the animal’s purpose was to keep you alive; with these ideas in mind, it isn’t difficult to see why people might have imagined that there is something bigger than us in the universe. If the world is serving us, then perhaps there is something beyond ourselves that we can also serve. For thousands of years people have dealt with the enormity of existence by using religion to give meaning and purpose to their lives. It makes sense: by believing that we are nothing but cogs in a machine, we free ourselves to perform our... read more

Just one more rep: your growth might just be one step away

How many times have you worked super hard for something just to give up at the very end? How many times have you been on the precipice of success, but just couldn’t get that final bit of lift to finally get on your feet and stand on top of your accomplishment? In life it is often when things are the toughest, when things become unbearable, and when the sky looks darkest that it is almost time for the sunrise in the land of your suffering.   The man who stopped just feet short of gold… There is a famous story about a man who was digging for gold; different versions of the story exist, but one of my favorites is the version told by Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich. As the story goes: there is a man who finds some land with quite a bit of gold thought to be in it; so he borrows money from his friends and family and takes the risk to try and mine the gold from his land. He spends everything he has so he can get the right machinery and start mining for gold. Based off of his calculations, he should strike gold within a couple weeks…but after several months there is still no gold and he quits digging. He tries to recoup some of his losses by selling the machinery he purchased and the land that he owned, but he gets much less than he paid for it. The guy who buys the machinery hires a professional gold prospector and they determine that the gold vein is just several... read more



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