Confidence is one of the most palpable traits of successful people; successful people take charge of their lives, make decisions with ease, and stand firm in the face of adversity; successful people believe in themselves when no one else does; successful people often do what others don’t have the courage to do. Confidence isn’t something that comes easily to many of us, after all, society collectively looks down on success, assertiveness, and people with individual thoughts. Confidence is: the ability to be exactly who you want to be at all times; notice, I didn’t say who you are, I said who you WANT to be.
We all carry around limiting beliefs about ourselves; we tend to believe that our past behaviors and experiences make us who we are right now, but that is only partly true; our past makes up the habits and conditioning that makes our beliefs; however, those beliefs can change at any time. Every second that we are alive we have choices to make: do we live like yesterday, or do we chose to live how we want to live today? In order to start being confident, the first thing we have to realise is this: your life behaviors and decisions are under your control; you may have been functioning as a pawn on the board of life, but you can exercise your free will to override your habits and beliefs at any time. We can choose to stop acting like a shy and conservative person and start acting like someone with confidence.
Surround yourself with confidence.
After you have decided that confidence is something you want to develop, its time to start taking action. I recommend first surrounding yourself with confidence: watch confident people, listen to confident people, read about confident people; if we can observe and surround ourselves with living examples of confidence ,we will be more likely to start exhibiting the behaviors and traits we want to possess. If you have never been confident before then you have to start by figuring out what confidence looks, sounds, and acts like.
Start acting like the person you want to be.
There is an old adage: fake it until you make it: when we start acting like the confident person we want to be, we will slowly start to internalize the behaviors and thoughts needed to truly become that person. Much like actors immerse themselves in a role and become the person they are playing, we too can become the star of our own movie; we can become the person we want to be.
Tell yourself who you are.
Start replacing your old thoughts with new thoughts that support the version of the person you want to be. When you have thoughts that encourage you to be shy, introverted, or passive, replace those thoughts with thoughts a confident person would think- make sure to think these thoughts in the present tense. For example: if you have a thought like “I am too shy to talk to a person I don’t know.” or, “Social events make me uncomfortable.”, replace the thought with a positive thought that supports your more confident self. Say to yourself, “ I am a confident and outgoing person; I am not defined by my past; I approach situations and events with the utmost confidence, I am exactly the person that I choose to be in this moment.” Using positive affirmations in the present tense and mixing these affirmations with strong emotion and belief is one of the quickest ways to produce a change in mentality.
Being confident isn’t a born trait, it is a trait that we can develop and practice until we reach our desired state. Confidence involves several things: loving yourself as you are, believing in yourself, being happy with life, having faith in yourself and in life, and just playing the part. When you get the urge to run away from a situation or crawl into your shell, say no to yourself instead: decide to do things differently this time. Confidence is the greatest tool of self expression, you are able to be who you are, and do what you want without fear, because you know this is who you are. If you prefer to be alone do it with confidence; if you want to be more social do it with confidence; if you want to take everything life has to offer you and build a legacy, then do it with confidence. If you start believing in the power that exists with in you, even a little bit, you’ll start moving mountains and empowering others around you to do the same as well.