Getting your heart broken can be some of the worst pain imaginable. Heartbreak cuts like a knife and leaves a gaping wound that makes you feel too afraid to trust again until it is healed.
When you lose someone dear to you it can feel like the end of the world, like everything you wanted is gone, and like everything that you once held together has come undone. When you lose a person that is dear to you, you lose so much: you lose their company, you lose their touch, you lose their words and laughter, you lose all of the plans you made, you lose your life together, and all you are left with are the ghosts of what could have been and the memories of the better days.
These ghosts and memories often haunt you at every turn, and your losses are often so staggering you don’t even know where to begin, but there is hope amongst the anguish, and we can learn a lot about ourselves through the pain we experience.
- Try to remember the bad times too, at least in the beginning.
Right after a shock break-up, we are still reeling in the loss of the person we loved. We will often replay the same happy memories over and over again in our minds, but we often neglect to consider that if things came to an end, there were likely things that we weren’t happy with as well.
It is a strange quality of our mind to take for granted what we have when we have it, yet romanticise the idea of what we had after it’s gone; just try to hang onto some of the bad memories as well. Remembering that things weren’t perfect while maintaining a realistic view of your old relationship will help you to realize that there improvements that could have been made, and it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows after all.
- Treat your break-up as a learning experience.
It can be very difficult, but imagine that life put this relationship and person in your life in order to help you change something about yourself and grow as a person.
What is the lesson you were supposed to learn from this relationship? Not only does this shift your perspective from what you just lost, but it can help ease the pain as you start focusing on what you can gain from the experience.
There is almost certainly something you could have done better, something you can take from a major break up, so don’t let it pass you by. Who knows, the person might come back to you someday, and if you want another shot with them, then you’ll need to be ready.
- Meet other people, but give it some time first.
Meeting other people is a great way to remind yourself that you can still experience excitement, attraction, and even love again. It is good to take some time alone before you get back into the dating scene, but just being around new and different people can help you gain insight and lift your spirits a bit.
People feel good around other people, and after all, you just lost the most major person there was in your life, it’s going to be hard to replace them, but meeting other people can remind you that its not impossible.
- Embrace the times you shared.
They say that it is better to love and lose than to never love at all, but they must not have heard the others say that ignorance is bliss.
I guess both sayings are true in different ways, but since you did love and lose, its best to see love for what it really is.
Some people go their entire lives without ever experiencing true love for another person, and since you had it once already, consider yourself one of the lucky ones. Love is magical, fleeting and non-logical, it is a symptom of the human condition and we often try desperately to hold onto it, but the harder you try to grasp it, the more it dies.
Try to embrace the happy moments you shared, and be joyful for the positive memories you created together, and then, just let go of it all the best you can.
- Believe that something better is out there for you.
I was married once, and I got divorced. My divorce was one the greatest and most transformative experiences of my life, but at the time it was a nightmare and it weighed heavy on mind and heart for months.
I felt a lot of guilt, shame, and regret for my actions, but that pain caused me to grow more in 1 year, than the rest of my entire life combined. I never had very high self esteem, but I can now say that I love who I am, and I look forward to any more time I am blessed with on earth to improve.
I don’t know what is out there waiting for you, but rest assured, there is something even better that life has in store for you, and it might be just around the corner,
A breakup is painful, hard, and never fun, but keeping these tips in mind can help you focus on the positives and at least feel something other than pain and anguish. Hang in there kid, everything will be ok eventually. Time heals all wounds, I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but eventually it will heal.
Have any other tips for our readers or do you want to share a personal experience of your own? Leave a comment below in the comments section and join the discussion, and if you know someone getting over a tough break-up that could use some encouragement, try sharing this article their way, it might help them out.