What is self? For most people, the self is the idea of what and who they are. Self is often the identity that people create that explains and justifies their behaviors, actions, thoughts, and beliefs. Self is the idea of what we are that is created in our own mind, and as we see ourselves, we will behave in a manner that is consistent with our idea of self. Self is one of the biggest fallacies that people hold onto, and while we clasp onto our ideas about who and what we are, we limit our capabilities, become the victim to things outside of our control, and become less capable of change as a person.
“Self” is some little story that you either wrote about yourself or allowed others to write for you, but you never double checked the story. Self is script you never took the time to read. Your “self” is is not formed over time through circumstances out of your control, and your “self” is not something that is born into this world with you, your “self” is what you accept as yourself.
Your “self” is made up of your ideas about who you are, but I want you to know that their is a true “self” deep inside of you, and you DO have the power to find and unleash it.
Step 1. Realize that “self” is a meaningless and limiting term.
As soon as you define the self, you give it form. Like water poured into a glass takes the shape of the glass, your true self will immediately take the form of the “self” you define in your mind. There is no limit to your “self”, there is no form, and it is indefinable. “Self” only exists when created, it cannot exist without the concept of the “self”.
Step 2. Stop accepting what others have told you, and stop believing what you think you are.
As soon as someone tells you that you are shy, the thought trickles into your mind, be it a positive or negative trait, when someone defines who we are by defining us, we usually start to believe it. If enough people start telling you that you are shy, you will most likely begin to believe it, and you will exhibit even more shy behavior. Realize that YOU are not shy, your actions may demonstrate shyness, but YOU are not shy. People are not a bunch of personality traits, they simply exhibit them based off of what they believe about themselves. Your mind is consciousness, it is indescribable and it is only limited by your defined limits.
Step 3. Realize that the self is limitless, and exists like an arrow in motion.
Take an arrow and shoot it at 200 miles an hour and snap a series of photographs as it flies by. Guess what? You will see a few pictures and each one will show the arrow sitting still, but we know that the arrow was actually moving incredibly quickly.
The self is like the arrow in a photograph, it moves too fast, it is too ethereal to be seen as it truly is (in motion). The self is constantly moving, changing, oscillating. The self can be anything, and your “self” can be whatever you choose at each moment. The self exists independently of the past and future, it only exists in each moment, and in each and every action. Each action is a single picture from a movie reel that will eventually show the expanse of your life.
Step 4. Realize that your self can be whatever you want it to be.
If you envy the brave and strong, look up to the integrous and wise, or lust after the confident and knowledgeable, understand that you can become whatever you desire. Each moment presents you a new moment to define yourself. Your “true self” is your highest potential, it is your undying desire for more, it is the unwavering desire to be better than you were a moment before. We all have this quiet inner voice, this is your “true self”: the inner desire to be your very best.
Step 5. FIgure out what and who you want to be, and become the best you can.
Once you understand that the self is a meaningless term defined in each passing moment by a series of snapshots of past behaviors and choices, you can let go of your idea of self. Next comes realizing that your “self” is formless and capable of change at any instant, and finally you must realize that you can be whatever or whoever you choose to be. Next comes the fun part!
What do you want to be, what traits do you want to exhibit, what actions do you want to take, how do you want to be remembered as a person after you are gone? Figure out what is important to you and build your self based off of those beliefs. Do you believe that family is above everything else? Then build a self that reflects that belief, put family above everything else.
True self is just a fancy way of saying that your actions are in alignment with what you really value in life. It means you have integrity and you prioritise what is important to you in your life. So what is your inner self like, who do you want to be? Stop acting out the script that you never checked for accuracy. Make your self.