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How to find your perfect partner- How a scarcity mindset can prevent your happiness.

How to find your perfect partner- How a scarcity mindset can prevent your happiness.

Most of us think we know what we want, especially in a relationship, but most people are willing to settle for someone rather than the one. The reasons for why this happens so frequently are complex, but most stem from a mindset of scarcity versus a mindset of abundance. The best way to find the person that you have always dreamed of is to get out there, meet as many people as possible, and learn over time what you like and dislike.

Many people believe that true love should come to them, and sometimes it does: depending upon the maturity of the people involved, it is very much possible to create a loving and secure relationship, but as the values of society slowly dissolve fewer and fewer people live with hearts open enough to embrace something as scary as love. The best way to find the love that you desire is to get out there and find out.

Let’s look at the average person: they don’t try many new things and their lives are isolated to the same social group of friends that they usually interact with. Most people find a new partner online, through friends, or from some social group that they are already part of. Its not bad to meet people this way, but it does have it’s drawbacks. First, you are limited to meeting people with mutual contacts; second, the diversity of people you can meet greatly decreases this way; lastly, when break-ups occur within a group of friends it can often cause serious problems within the group. A much better way to find the person of your dreams is to get out there and experience something new, not only will you meet exciting new people

In the typical way of meeting new people we are limited to a small pool of potential partners, so we are more likely to directly compare people and we are more likely to settle for someone simply because we don’t like being alone. It is very important when selecting a person for a relationship that we select someone who is really compatible with us and we really connect with: its tempting to settle for the first person we find, but it will be much more rewarding in the long run to find someone we share a true bond with.  Think about it, when you go to the store do you buy the first thing that you find, or do you shop around a little bit?

Introduce now the two major mindsets of people who are actively dating: 1 is scarcity, scarcity is the belief that there are limited resources and opportunities; this can cause people to settle for relationships that are unhealthy or unhappy for them, because they may believe that something is better than nothing at all. They often believe that another relationship will be hard to come by and it is better to hold onto what you have than it is to hold out for something or someone truly amazing.

Mindset 2 is abundance. Abundance is the belief that there are many suitable mates in the world, so it is easy to meet new people and that if someone is not compatible with you it is best to find someone who is. Especially early on in dating or when you are single, it is good to create a mindset of abundance- refuse to settle for something- but instead wait for something truly amazing. To create a true feeling of abundance it is important to meet a lot of new people, talk with many potential partners, date a lot of people, and get a better grasp on your tastes and needs.

With a mindset of abundance we can choose to be in a relationship with a person who truly amazes us. Do you want be in a relationship with someone and wonder what else could be out there waiting for you, or do you want to be in the relationships where you know this person is the one for you and you have truly found someone compatible with you? A mindset of scarcity will often cause us to enter relationships prematurely, while a mindset of abundance will allow us to really know that this person is special. So if you are on the dating scene, live, laugh, love, learn, and listen. Meet many new people, experience new things, grow as a person, learn from your mistakes, and meet many potential partners. Remember: its better to know that you chose your partner because they were different than the rest, than it is to know that you chose them out of lonliness.

Only through a mindset of abundance can you select a mate because of who they are; in a mindset of scarcity we will often choose a person out of fear or loneliness. When you choose to be with a person because they are the most amazing person you have ever met, and not because you just need someone it is a truly amazing feeling and experience. Follow your heart, live and love fully and when you meet the one, you will be ready.

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