Have you ever really liked someone, found yourself falling for them, and yet you ended up in a dreaded place called the friend zone?
The friendzone is like a terrible purgatory where you are just close enough to what you want, but you can’t ever fully attain it. Men end up here all the time, but I must preface this article by saying that truly being friends with a female because you value your friendship is one thing, and being locked into a friend zone with a woman that you are really into because you would rather settle on just being friends because you are too scared to lose her is very different.
Why is the friendzone a bad place to be?
- It kills your confidence
Being stuck in friend zone will drain a guy’s confidence; because he believes that since the woman that he is interested in is not interested in him romantically that no one else will be he will be less inclined to move on. After all if you thought you could get someone else, wouldn’t you be out there trying to find some rather than just sitting there stuck on a girl who isn’t even into you?
- It puts a woman on the pedestal above you
When you allow yourself to become friend zoned, you sacrifice what you want in order to appease a woman that you want to be with. You compromise your own desires because you would rather “have her as a friend” than to try and pursue something else or move on. Trust me, no woman is so special that she is worth waiting for. If she doesn’t want to be with you, it’s not because she is better than you, it’s because she isn’t interested (it could be for any number of reasons).
- It kills your masculinity
Being in the friend zone kills your confidence, but it also kills your masculinity. Do you think other women will want to show interest in a guy who is hopelessly chasing his female best friend, all the while, hoping that she will suddenly have a change of heart and choose him? Part of being a man is about trying to make the most out of the world, it’s about growing, chasing, conquering yourself and your world: nothing says little boy like a man who is too scared to go after what he wants in life.
- It prevents you from finding someone else that is better for you
The time that you spend in friend zone could easily be used to find a woman who is interested in you, or even better, it could be spent bettering yourself so that you will attract the type of women that you really want in your own life. While you are chasing one girl, you are blinded to the rest of the world’s opportunites.
Again, friendzoned is very different from just being friends or acquaintance with a woman. Friendship is ok, but waiting in line for your chance to get a woman that you are interested in is not only deceptive, and unmasculine, but it’s a little bit creepy as well.
How do you get out of the friendzone forever?
The answer is pretty simple, maybe overly simple, but simply stop being in the friendzone. Understand that either someone is interested in you or they are not interested in you, if they aren’t interested in you, then you can either try to improve yourself and become the type of person that they are interested in or you can move on and find someone who is.
The only reason you should be friends with a woman is because you value her perspective, you like her as person and appreciate her company, or because you have some sort of business together: being friends with a woman with the secret hope that she will suddenly fall for you is sad and manipulative.
Now, that being said, getting to know a woman without any expectations for sex, affection, or romance is cool. When you first meet a woman, your mind shouldn’t be all caught up on what you are going to get from her, it should be focused on getting to know her and figuring out if shes is the type of person that you would like to have in your life for friendship or romance.
Don’t allow a woman to hold all of the power over you, you also have the ability to go out, find people that are a good match for you, and to find the love that you deserve. If you are stuck in the friend zone get out: burn your bridges and move on, give it your best shot to get her, or stay friends because you really respect and value her as a person and look for romance elsewhere.
I know some of you may disagree with this post, and I know it might ruffle some feathers, but the truth is that men who befriend females only because they want to be with them romantically are kind of pathetic. Many times, these women are only befriending these types of guys because they use complex behaviors to make the girls feel bad for them. These women often allow these types of guys to be friends with them, either because they feel bad for them or because they secretly want to feel better about themselves.
Guys, don’t allow yourself into the friend zone with a girl you are interested in romantically: go for it, or get going. And ladies, Don’t just stay friends with a guy who you aren’t romantically interested in because you feel bad for him, or because you like the way he strokes your ego; you are doing a disservice to the guy by stringing him along.
So what do you think? I want to hear from you, please keep it classy, and I would love to answer questions or have a discussion for anyone here on the site!