When was the last time you laughed? Really laughed…
For many of us, we may not even remember the last time we had a good laugh with the person that we love; laughter is truly the medicine of the soul and when we neglect making time and lightness to laugh, we miss out on a nourishing part of a great relationship.
Many of us tend to be so serious, we take everything as life or death, we stand our ground, and we deal problems with cold calculation, but this lack of lightness of heart can constrict us and limit our ability to love others.
Sharing laughs with the person you love makes you feel young and in love, it helps you create good memories, and it decreases stress. Couples who laugh more have more fun, love more deeply,are less stressed, and they argue and nitpick less with each other.
If your relationship has been lackluster, if it has grown stale, or if the person you are with makes you feel angry or upset more than they make you smile, then laughter might be exactly what you need more of!
While the jury is still out on what physical effects laughter has on the human body, there is no debate that people who laugh more usually live happier and healthier lives.
It is just about impossible to be angry and laugh at the same time, and the more we laugh around someone, then the more we will tend to associate positive emotions with being around that person.
How we feel about someone has a lot to do with our perception of them, and our perception of them has a lot to do with how they make us feel.
We often pride ourselves on being a good judge of character; we like to think we are logical and fair in our assessments of others, but all too often it just boils down to our perception of them and these perceptions are based off of how we feel.
For example: when you are new to a relationship and communication is not yet open enough to voice most concerns, we spend a lot less time complaining and a lot more time being happy and enjoying the other person’s company; as time goes on though, we start to voice more concerns and make more complaints.
In the beginning we associate this new person with positive experiences and feelings, but as comfort increases and they start to make their own needs more known, we often begin to associate them with the negative feelings of criticism and rejection; then like any fully grown child would do, we start withdrawing from them emotionally.
As we emotionally withdraw it becomes hard to have fun, we laugh less, and we enjoy each others company less. In our minds we start viewing the other person as a source of negative emotions instead of as a source of happiness.
I write a lot about the “Act as you wish to feel” principle, and it is a self perpetuating cycle.
We feel the way we act, and we act the way we feel. The more we act that way the more we feel it, and the more we feel it the more we act that way. So if you are aren’t feeling laughter and happiness, you won’t act that way… and if you don’t act that way then you won’t feel it.
A great way to boost your relationship is to simply act happy, just pretend that you want to laugh and play more and pretty soon you will start feeling it too.
If things are growing stale for you and your partner, try being a little lighter, take things less seriously, play, joke, and wrestle more. Start acting like those silly young 16 year old kids that are in “love” at summer camp.
Laughter can make you feel young again, it makes your relationship more vital and alive, and it puts you into a different frame of mind.
Your outer world will reflect your inner world
If you can find the energy to laugh more inside then you will be laughing more on the outside as well. So let go, tackle someone you love, laugh a little, and be a kid again: your relationship might depend on it!