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You will NEVER be happy unless you learn this one thing

“What are you waiting for? You’re faster than this. Don’t think you are, know you are. Come on, stop trying to hit me and hit me.”- Morpheus   Skip to 3:44 for the good part   I was having a discussion with someone the other day about a principle that after years of positive thinking, self improvement, and personal challenge that I have finally learned for myself: Unless you can learn to be happy right now: happy with who and what you are, happy with everything you have, and happy with everything in your life then you will NEVER be happy. I’ve been reading books for years that tell you to be happy now, live in the moment, and learn to appreciate what you have but even though I was reading the words…it never really stuck as a lesson that I could apply in my own life.   Be one of the few that actually live. A photo posted by @makeyourbestself on Jan 8, 2016 at 3:08pm PST I lean towards being a perfectionist: I want EVERYTHING to be perfect first, and then everything will be ok…maybe you can relate? Whether I am preparing to tackle a new project, starting a new venture, or just trying to get ready for my next BJJ tournament I have always wanted to be over prepared. When I was competing frequently I was confident in my ability, but if I felt like one single thing wasn’t perfect then I wasn’t ready: it was a little chip in my confidence that killed my ability to win consistently and perform up to my full potential.... read more

How a few simple questions can change your life

Did you do your best today to be the type of person that you want to be, and did you do your best to make the kinds of decisions today that will take your life towards the kind of life you would like to live tomorrow? Imagine those words staring back at you at the end of each day on a page of paper that you must answer each night before you go to bed.   Measure each day not by failure or success but by gradual improvement. If at the end of the day you are better, if you learned something, or if you have become a better person, then the day was a success. Try to think more of these small daily improvements and eventually you will achieve great victories. A photo posted by @makeyourbestself on Sep 14, 2015 at 2:33pm PDT   Using questions like these can have innumerable benefits for us in our daily lives and it can help lead us into the type of life that we want to live. There are few questions more important than these in life: What type of person do I want to be? AND What type of life do I want to live? Answer these questions and suddenly each moment takes on a new and powerful meaning…each day becomes not a time where we get lost in momentary pleasures and instant gratification, but it becomes a proving ground where we decide if we will take one step closer to becoming the person we desire to be, or if we will take another step away from that person.  ... read more

Get unstuck and beat the odds: a new approach to accomplishing change

One all too frequently overlooked component of success is a person’s environment. For instance: take a look at your own life and imagine something that you are successful at- or something that you aren’t- then imagine the circumstances and the people around you that have contributed to those successes or failures. While growing up in poverty doesn’t exactly ensure lifelong poverty, the truth remains that growing up poor increases your chances of dying poor as well. Many people like to claim that we are all products of our own environment, and to an extent it IS true…just not in the way most of us like to think of it as.   There are 2 primary mindsets that prevent people from being able to change: the belief that they are helpless to change (products of their environment, or not able to change their situation), and then there are those that believe that they can change, but they never take steps to change their environment. Facts are facts; the odds say that unless you change your environment you won’t change. New roads don’t get built by driving the existing ones, new muscles don’t get built by not using the ones that you have, and money doesn’t get saved by spending more than you have. Your beliefs and actions create your life, but your environment has a VERY strong influence over those beliefs and actions. Keep reading to see the full truth: that if you want to change, you need to change your environment. Let us take a look at the two types of people who want to change but fail to... read more

I was amazed when I found out the truth about new year resolutions, you will be too

Today is January 14th, 2016…It has officially been 2 weeks since people started their new year’s resolutions for 2016. I recently came across some interesting stats on new year’s resolutions: about 45% of people usually make new year’s resolutions; out of this 45% only around 8% are ever successful at achieving their new year’s goals and 24% of those people report that they NEVER achieve their new year’s resolutions despite making them each year. Also of note, the people who make clearly defined and SMART new years goals are 10 times more likely to succeed then the people who make ambiguous or uncertain goals. The stats also go on to tell us that over ¼ of the people who made new year’s resolutions for 2016 have already given up- hopefully you aren’t one of them! Then after 1 month, ⅓ of people who made resolutions will have given up… and past six months, less than ½ of the people of the people who started 2016 with resolutions will still continue on towards their goals   So if you made a resolution or resolutions for this year, then you need to seriously ask yourself if you are going to be in the half that succeeds, or the half that fails. Are you really ready to beat the odds and be one of 8% that actually achieves the goal? New year’s resolutions are like any other goal: they require a continual commitment to actually succeed. It isn’t enough to write down your goals and stick the paper in some drawer long ago forgotten by everyone, you have to remember your goals,... read more

Stop wanting things and start having them instead

Can you list at least 10 things that you want? I bet you can name off a list of things pretty quickly without much extra consideration, but consider this: what if all that “wanting” things is actually stopping you from having them? What if you thinking about the things that you wish that you had is actually preventing you from ever getting them?   Wanting… Wanting something isn’t too far off from just wishing that you could have it. Who doesn’t want to travel the world, own a mansion, drive around in a Bentley, and tell the credit card companies to bug off? What about the desire to get fit or lose a few pounds? Have you ever wanted to lose little bit of belly fat, tone up, or get jacked? No someone that has been wanting to lose a few pounds for more than just a few years? One thing is for sure: wanting something doesn’t do anything to actually make it happen for you. Saying “I want” is too uncertain, it’s too wishful, and it gives you just enough permission to think “Gee, wouldn’t that be nice?”   How our language affects our success.   What you want doesn’t really matter until you start to take the responsibility to actually start creating it in your own life. That big-screen TV isn’t going to buy itself, that 6 pack stomach isn’t going to appear over-night. Anything that you could possibly “want” in life needs to be created, not just wanted for. Believe in yourself and anything is possible! https://t.co/h6r53D0rBQ #motivation #growthhacking #success pic.twitter.com/VWMfQDcGKv — Makeyourbestself.com (@MakeYourBstSelf) December 12,... read more

Would you choose door 1 or door 2?

So imagine you find this flier posted up on a telephone pole and it tells you about this opportunity to make a million dollars. Its got some contact information listed on it, so you contact the person running the advertisement and you set up a date to meet with them. Of course, when you first walk in you are already skeptical, because, come on, when an opportunity is too good to be true it usually is right? Yet, here you are in this person’s office. You can tell right away that they are for real; the wall is covered with awards, you see this person’s picture on the wall with your favorite celebrities, you smell fine coffee brewing on a table behind them, and you can hear all the assistants out in the hall working on their next project. Imagine sitting there and looking at everything this person has built: this company, an excited energy, a wall full of rewards and for just a second…you believe that maybe you can do it too. So this person is sitting in front of you at a beautiful desk, and they say to you, “Look, everything I have done here you can do too. Every accomplishment, every dollar I have made, every picture on the wall could be you instead of me, but you have to do something…one thing first.” At this point they could tell you to sell your soul to the devil and you might even say yes…so you think about it a moment and answer, “Just show me what to do.”   So you both get up, and they... read more

Success is not a place on a map, it is the journey

Sometimes people fail to realize that success isn’t some destination, it’s actually the product of a long process. It’s the old Iceberg adage in work in real life- you know- that success is just the tip of the iceberg…what people don’t see is the hours of toil, hard work, challenge, and even deep depression that it takes to experience the very top of life’s experiences.     Everyone who has ever been successful at anything has surely had those moments of pain, those troubling moments of doubt, and even those overwhelming moments of hopelessness and despair. When those feelings come into play; however, it should serve as a reminder to focus on the process rather than the result of the process. Success is not what lies at the top of the iceberg…its what lies beneath buried in the struggle of creation that truly creates the happiness that you are after.   Sometimes it is your destiny to fail, and how you react will define you. #mondaymotivation #growthhacking #success — Makeyourbestself.com (@MakeYourBstSelf) December 28, 2015   Failure SHOULD abound in your life’s work Failure is not usually a sign that you are on the wrong course in life, in fact, failure should be one of the main signs that you are headed in the right direction. The road to success- and ultimately success is living a life that is in alignment with your passion and sense of purpose, is a long and difficult one. Few men or women are lucky enough to stumble right into a life that they love; few people are able to suddenly wake up one day... read more

Year 1 in review for MakeYourBestSelf.com

Hey everyone! Welcome to 2016. I want to personally thank each and everyone of my friends, fans, and followers for supporting MakeYourBestSelf.com, in 2015. Thanks to you my site had over 15,000 visitors, gained about 50,000 new followers on social media, and got shared, liked, re-tweeted, and +1’d multiple times. One of things that keeps me going when times are tough is hearing words of encouragement, or hearing from someone how MakeYourBestSelf.com helped them in their own life. With so many people becoming vocal about how MYBS has helped them in 2015, I  can only imagine what 2016 will bring!   Believe in yourself and anything is possible! https://t.co/h6r53D0rBQ #motivation #growthhacking #success pic.twitter.com/VWMfQDcGKv — Makeyourbestself.com (@MakeYourBstSelf) December 12, 2015   All that being said, I wanted to talk to you a little bit about what I have planned for MYBS here in 2016. I had the big goal of writing 1 post Monday-Friday each week in 2015 and I made that goal a success by creating over 300 unique posts for the entire year. While my results are impressive, I realize that at times the quality of my posts was not as good as it could have been, I realize that my writing has evolved and gotten a lot better over the course of the last year, and I realize that many posts from early in 2015 were never seen by many because of how brand new the site was. So in order to boost the quality of some of my earlier articles and in order to re-introduce some old articles with new flair and get my earlier work seen... read more

Success: how our ideas about success are actually preventing it

“Success is not created in a moment, it is honed through practice, sacrifice, and commitment day in and day out; it is a byproduct of months, years, even decades; it is not effect of a single action, but rather, it is the entire journey’s toil compounded into a single moment of victory.”   Many people believe that success is all about THE moment… we feel as if we will be judged as people against the successes of our lives, and we feel that only those of us with the greatest successes have done something great with their life. What if true success was something cultivated over time: something that came as a byproduct of a life long commitment to growth? Wouldn’t people have more enthusiasm, less risk of burnout, and wouldn’t they end up achieving more success?   Product goals Vs Process goals Many people tend to view success as an end product, a destination, and ultimately as a product goal… Product goals and process goals are very different from one another, and this is where much of the confusion starts to pop up.   Product goals seek a specific outcome by a certain date; so if your goal is to make 1 million dollars in 5 years, and you end up making 200,000 instead, then you failed to reach your product goal. Process goals focus not on the end result, but upon the process of reaching your goals. So if your process goal is to increase your income and become wealthy over time, then as long as you are making some sort of progress, then you aren’t failing.... read more

Why your daily routine is the BIGGEST determinant of your success

If you are anything like me at all, then you probably tend to overestimate your ability to say no and display willpower. It is human nature to want to feel like we are in control, that we can make our own decisions, and that we have the ability to chose the right decision even in the midst of temptation; but, history will usually tell a different story. If you have ever failed a new year’s resolution, started a new diet just to go a junk food binge a few days later, or promised to stay in touch with your family but failed, then you are just like 100% of every other human being on the planet.   Why do we fail even when we really know what we want? Of course everything in life is multi-factorial: meaning you can’t just blame one thing for every problem, but 9 times out of 10 people fail due to lack of the proper routine and structure to support them in their goals. Imagine it’s New Year’s day and you have made a commitment to finally lose that last 15lbs you have been carrying around your midsection for the past couple of years. You researched nutrition and made a diet plan, you signed up at the gym, you created a workout, and you even got a friend who will go to the gym with you…everything seems to be leading you towards success. Fast forward to March 1st in the same year and you aren’t working out, your diet is just as bad as ever, and your friend isn’t working out with you either.... read more

When are you planning to actually start?

So I know there are some things that you want to change, get better at, improve, start doing, or stop doing. Do you know how I know that? Because we all have these things. No matter how successful you are and no matter where you are in life we all have this inner knowledge that things could be better. Every single human being on this planet has a mental list of “shoulds”: things that we know we “should do”, “would do”,  “could have done if”. We tend to ignore this running list of things until the next time we realize that we should do something, then after a few days they drift back to somewhere hidden in our mind. While it is great to just accept things the way that they are, to be happy and appreciate what you have, why in this life of endless possibility would you ever choose to have less or be less than you are capable of? Why would you accept being 10 lbs overweight when you could have the body of your dreams? Why would you take a job you don’t like just because the pay is good? Why would you settle for a mediocre relationship and love life when you and your partner could create a real life love story? I know that I will never achieve perfection, but why would I settle for less than I am capable of? Why would I allow this list of “shoulds” someday become a list of “I wish I would haves”?   Don’t wait for it to happen…make it happen! #motivation #GrowthHacking #success #StrongerThanFear pic.twitter.com/X3yM1U4sYz... read more

22 quotes about being present to keep you living in the now

When is the last time that you stopped what you were doing and listened to the way the wind blows through the trees, watched a sunset, or said thank you to someone for a small act of kindness that they did for you? I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I get TOO focused on what I am working on and I lose track of some of the smallest and most beautiful moments in life. I take small steps to try and come back into the moment though. Many of us spend our time living in the past…you know…dwelling on our past mistakes or the things we have failed in. We hold onto the things that people do that hurt us or the things that go wrong. I tend to avoid the past, I let things roll easily into the past and I let them stay there, but my problem is living too much in the future. I have all these big dreams and ideas, and I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better, that someday I will be living the life that I want to live, and that maybe someday I will finally be truly happy, but the truth is that happiness and joy can only be experienced in the now. Even the moments that I keep looking forward to are going to leave me wanting more, and even though I know this I feel trapped in searching for that moment of perfection somewhere ahead of me on my path in life. The joy you seek is now, the love you wish to feel is now,... read more

Raise your personal standards and decide its do or die

Have you ever sat down and asked yourself what really matters to you? Have you ever thought about what type of person you want to be and how you would like to conduct yourself? Most of us realize that there is a difference between where we would like to be and where we are, most of know that there are little inconsistencies in our days… they exist between how we act and how we want to act, and most of us look on our days with the knowledge that we could have done better…. yet we never change our standards and expect more of ourselves tomorrow. In fact, today’s failures often just make it all the easier to not try tomorrow. Who doesn’t wish that they were: more kind, happier, more disciplined, more thoughtful,  more productive, or more healthy? The real task at hand is to stop feeling guilty, stop feeling helpless, and to start take control and change our standards of living. So stop playing the victim, raise your standards, and be the hero of your own life.   You are just a story you tell yourself. Choose to be the hero in it, don’t be the victim. #HumpDay #success #onstorm pic.twitter.com/FQHwLLpnTj — Makeyourbestself.com (@MakeYourBstSelf) June 11, 2015   Put the gun to your own head… Imagine that you want to be healthier, lose some weight, get abs, eat better or whatever… you KNOW that this is what you want, yet without changing your standards you will never become this person. The first step to becoming that healthy person that you desire to be is to raise your... read more

If you believe that you are right, you must almost certainly be wrong

Despite what you have been told, there is nothing right or wrong. I’m going to go ahead, and just let that statement simmer for a second while your mind explodes. You may have been told to eat your veggies, help old people cross the street, and to study hard in school, but none of those things are truly right or wrong. That means all of those things that you are so sure about, you can’t really be sure about. They are all debatable. As much as it pains me to say, there is no such thing as right or wrong in this world; it can truly be tough to wrap your mind around, and while everyone should establish some values of right or wrong, there is no defined limit of right or wrong in life (except in religious doctrine, culture, or in personal choice.) Let us take a look at stealing for example: if asked, most people in America would tell you plainly that stealing is “wrong”; however, ask the same people if they were in a situation where they had to steal in order to feed their children or to feed someone that they love deeply- most would tell you that they would steal to do so without hesitation. If stealing is “wrong” why is is acceptable in some situations,and if we know something is wrong why would we do it anyway? If we chose not to steal food and our children died, wouldn’t that be “wrong”, isn’t it worse to let a child starve than it is to steal a loaf of bread to feed them?  ... read more

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