Think back to your childhood to your very first best friend, it is most likely one of your fondest memories and you often think back to what the two of you did and got involved in. I’m sure you can remember good times, bad times, arguments, great memories, trouble, and excitement. When you are a kid, your best friend pretty much trumps everything else, you’d even jump in front of a car for this person.
In order for a relationship to be strong and healthy, being good friends is pretty important. It doesn’t mean that you need to start out as friends first, but if you are going to enter into a successful long term relationship with someone, it is important that you like this person, enjoy spending time together, and you enjoy who they are.
Being best friends with your lover is an amazing experience. When you choose to truly cherish and accept someone for exactly who they are, it opens a whole new world of emotion and experience to you. Being best friends with your lover means not holding onto negative feeling towards them, making an effort to try things they like, trying new things and having excitement together, sharing your thoughts and emotions, sharing your dreams and ambitions, and being there for each other when times are tough.
In any relationship there are bound to be times of difficulty, times of fighting and resentment, but we must not allow our hearts to harden over against this person. Just like a best friend, we must learn to sometimes disagree, but put the disagreement aside in favor of an unconditional commitment to be this person’s friend. Friends don’t try to hurt each other, friends try to make the other person happy, friends don’t scold you for what you do (unless you are hurting yourself), and friends don’t snap at you and take out their aggression on you. Being friends with your lover means treating them as if they were an old childhood friend coming into town for a visit.
When an old friend stops into town to visit and stay with you, what is it like? You do your very best to give them an awesome time. Even when you can’t do things together, you are happy that they are out there enjoying themselves and enjoying their life. If your guest forgets to clean up after themselves, doesn’t say thank you for something, or wants to do something you don’t want to do then you will most likely be happy to pick up for them or oblige what they want. This is how we should learn to love in our relationships.
We should try to learn to give an unconditional and accepting love that doesn’t expect anything in return. We should learn to view your partner as a cherished old friend visiting on vacation. Just like the friend you won’t see again for a long time, you never know when your last moment together could be. So give your best and allow the special bond between the two of you to grow.