We all have habits, you know, those little things that we do each day; most of them aren’t chosen habits, but they get formed out of comfort and convenience, but many of these habits end up actually taking away our happiness and limiting the lives that we enjoy. Some of our daily habits can even be a drain on the relationships that we love and cherish as well.
Look out for these 8 happiness draining habits in your own relationship, and if you look hard enough, I bet you will find at least a few!
Nitpicking is an easy habit trap to fall into, we get home and the first thing we see are all of the things that are wrong with our life and our world. Nitpicking is easy with the people we love, because we feel so comfortable with them, we want to tell them everything we see wrong. “I hate when you do that.”, “Couldn’t you do that outside.”, “Why do I even make a monthly budget if you are going to spend whatever you want anyway?”… and nag and nag and nag.
Men, don’t think you are off the hook, because men nag too, it may not be as common, but we definitely do our own fair share of nagging and nitpicking as well.
Throw this habit where it belongs: in the garbage.
Complaining is a lot like nitpicking, but it is less directed at another person and just some sort of negative observation of the world around you. “It stinks in here.”, “I hate traffic.”, “This guy at work drives me totally crazy!”.
Complaints are just negative, and while it’s normal for us to vent our negative energy to people we love and care about, we have to be careful to keep the negativity out of our relationships, because no one wants to listen to someone complain all day long.
- Not listening
It’s been a long day, you are tired, you had that flat tire this morning, that guy at the office made you mad…wait…what were you saying?
It is easy to get caught up in the day, what’s going on later, what is happening this weekend, especially after a long day, but we have to make sure to make some time to listen to our partner. If they are talking to you, make an effort to listen, ask questions, and show a genuine interest in what they have to say, otherwise they probably won’t tell you anything at all.
- Doing the same old routine
It is common for us to get into routines that look the same day in and day out, but we must be careful with allowing things to become too similar or they can cause a lack of happiness and excitement in our relationships.
It helps to break up the monotony of life with things that are different, spontaneous, and fun sometimes. Whether that means going on a date, playing a board game, watching a movie, or reading a book together, just try to mix it up a little bit.
- Bringing work home with you
Most of us don’t like our work, in fact, a lot of us hate our jobs. While the reality isn’t fun or exciting, bringing the negative energy home with us from our jobs is a sure killer of the romance and passion of love.
If we don’t leave work at work, and if we bring home all of our work problems, worries, and concerns, it makes it hard to focus on anything else except for that negativity. If you want a happier relationship, leave work at work, don’t bring it home with you.
- Writing off your partner’s concerns
While we shouldn’t be expected to cater to every single one of our partners wants and need like a personal butler, we should go out of our way to acknowledge and fix their concerns. So, if they want you to leave your shoes off at the door, sure you might think it is crazy and it’s easier for you to take them off in the room, but just listening to their concern and valuing it can avoid a lot of problems.
If your partner voices a concern or puts in a request, just try to appease them. You don’t have to do it every single time, but do your best, don’t be lazy!
- Letting other commitments kill the romance
Every single person on the planet is busy: we have the gym, kids, work, family, hobbies, and entertainment commitments, and with technology growing at a rapid pace, we often end up overburdened with things to do and people to see, but we have to leave a little bit of time for romance in their somewhere.
Romance doesn’t have to be zorro swinging from the branches to whisk away his girl into rooftop dinner, it can be candles at home for dinner, or a walk through the park. Romance has a tendency to fade away over time in favor of practicality and getting more things done, but don’t let that flame burnout, keep the romance alive.
- Enying others
Envying others is a sure fire way to mess up a good thing that you have going on at home. It may be tempting to envy other people’s lives, especially if you aren’t totally happy with your own, but not only will envy not get you anywhere, but it will make you appreciate what you do have even less.
Focus on what you have to be grateful for and make more of conscious effort to enjoy the special person in your life and the life that you have created together, then you will be even happier than you think those other people look.
These habits are all killers of relationships, because what kills relationships more than anything else is not some huge act of betrayal or selfishness, but it is a slow decline of passion, romance, respect, and appreciation.
Time robs us of the importance of each moment, especially in the things that mean most to us, the things that are most important in our lives are often the things that we take for granted and neglect as we go through our day to day lives, and in this strange paradox of life, we often lose the things we care about most. Don’t let the habits of complacency kill the love that you have worked hard to build throughout the years, remember these habits and make sure to keep them far away from your relationships!